


24th of December

by xuxicentric



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Long Distance Relationships, M/M, jaeyong are of the same age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 05:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17420054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuxicentric/pseuds/xuxicentric
Summary: Where Jaehyun and Taeyong meet each other only once every year.





	24th of December

**Author's Note:**

> hey! i'm back with a long overdue christmas fic! i had time to write only recently, so my apologies 
> 
> anyway, i didn't put any additional tags because i don't really want to spoil anything so :-)
> 
> enjoy reading! do leave your comments below, i love reading them

**December 24, 2010**

Taeyong is exhausted. He’s been running around and about, going in and out of stores with his mom, who for some reason decided to go on a last minute Christmas shopping. He doesn’t have any problem with his mom’s decision, per se, but if he’s dragged out to tire his legs out on a comfy day like this, well, Taeyong’s eyebrows furrow at that.

But above all, Taeyong is flustered.

In the midst of their Christmas shopping, Taeyong gets sidetracked by a keychain that has a Pomeranian puppy charm. He coos at how cute it is and is immediately reminded of Ruby, his pet, when he realizes his mom is nowhere to be seen. Taeyong panics, of course. He’s 15-years old, yeah, but he’s never wandered alone in a place as packed as a mall on Christmas eve. He’s tried calling his mom through his phone but she doesn’t answer his calls, so he does the next thing he thinks of: he goes to the lost and found corner.

Taeyong’s quite familiar of where this corner is because whenever they would pass by, he’d see kids crying hard for their mommies and daddies as mall attendants try to calm them down. He has always wanted to stop by and help the kids out, but he never imagined he’d be there because he’s the one that’s lost.

He sits quietly on a far corner from the rest of the kids because he’s the only _adolescent_ there. An announcement for his mom’s already been done, so he does his best to keep himself occupied while he waits. Ten minutes later, she’s still hasn’t picked him up and Taeyong’s bored out of his mind.

But when another kid around his age enters the corner, Taeyong is completely surprised.

The kid scans the room and spots Taeyong, who’s staring at him intently. He sighs deeply, as if he’s relieved and heads to the seat beside Taeyong. They sit there, side-by-side, but Taeyong’s eyes are still glued to him, but for different reasons now.

_Good god, there exists someone like him? How is he this handsome?_

“Hey, don’t judge me, I’m not from around here.” The kid grins and extends his hand for Taeyong. “Jaehyun.”

“Taeyong.” He takes the other’s hands and shakes it, now gazing at Jaehyun’s dimpled smile. _Fuck._

“What do you mean you’re not from here?” Taeyong asks, voice a little higher than usual as he’s nervous and a little disappointed to know there’s a possibility he won’t be seeing Jaehyun often.

“Well, I live in Connecticut, in America, my dad works there. We’re only here for Christmas break since my mom stays here for her work.”

Taeyong nods slowly, sinking in the information that Jaehyun doesn’t live anywhere near him. In fact, Jaehyun’s _oceans_ away from him, and there’s that 98% chance he will never get to see this gorgeous dimpled boy again.

Someone taps his shoulder and points him outside, where he sees his mom waiting for him. Taeyong turns to Jaehyun, face a little gloomy, but he’s trying to hide it. He doesn’t want the latter to think he’s a weirdo for getting attached to someone’s he’s just met. “My mom’s there. I guess, good bye?” Taeyong offers his hand this time to Jaehyun. “Merry Christmas, Jaehyun.”

He turns his heel and starts to walk to the exit when he hears Jaehyun’s voice.

“What’s your twitter username, Taeyong?”

Taeyong freezes at the sudden question. “Uh, l-ltyong.”

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. “Two L’s?”

“No, sorry. Just one. ltyong.”

“Great.” His new friend waves him goodbye, and Taeyong returns that before finally walking out. His mom rushes to him and apologizes, but Taeyong knows it’s a little half-hearted, seeing as she’s already done with her list.

They walk to the parking lot when Taeyong feels his phone buzz in his pocket.

_Twitter: jungjhyun followed you!_

 

**December 24, 2011**

Taeyong sits near the counter inside a rather packed coffee shop inside the mall. He’s waiting for his sister to finish her shift in a nearby store, so while he waits, he orders a venti-sized hot chocolate to keep himself company. He scrolls through his feed and sees a familiar account he’s been, uhm, keeping track of for the whole year. He sees the user’s last tweet was two days ago, and that makes Taeyong a little worried because as a concerned _follower_ of Jaehyun, Taeyong knows he tweets at least once a day.

They haven’t talked at all since they met in the lost and found corner. Their only interactions are when Jaehyun likes some of Taeyong’s tweets (most of which have a picture of Taeyong attached to it) and vice versa (Taeyong keeps his likes for Jaehyun to a minimum, he doesn’t want to be obvious he’s crushing on a guy he barely knows and who’s thousands of miles away).

He looks up to rest his eyes for a moment when he spots a familiar, well not _too_ familiar, figure walking towards the counter.

“I’d like an ice white chocolate mocha please. No whip, soy milk, add an extra shot, less ice.” Taeyong rubs his eyes and blinks, he’s not sure if he’s hallucinating or if he’s really seeing Jaehyun meters away from him.

He hears the barista ask for a name.

“Jaehyun.”

Taeyong’s heart goes crazy.

Jaehyun has gotten taller, and boy, he’s been working out. Taeyong’s mind is all fogged up from shock that he doesn’t notice Jaehyun has already spotted him and is walking towards his table.

“Taeyong? Hey!” He snaps from his thoughts, looks up, and sees that beautiful, _beautiful_ smile again.

“Jaehyun! You’re back!”

“Yeah, we’re here every Christmas.” Jaehyun points at the empty seat across Taeyong. “Is this taken?”

Taeyong shakes his head and Jaehyun sits down and sips on his coffee before turning his attention back to the man in front of him. “I’m really glad I ran into you. Well, not really, but you get it. I was wondering if you could come with me? I’m finding a gift for Johnny.”

 _Johnny…?_ Taeyong knows he’s heard of the name somewhere. He thinks for a moment then it dawns on him.

_Johnny, the guy in Jaehyun’s tweets._

“Oh, right! Johnny’s my—“

“Yeah, I see him in your tweets. Not that I keep track of them—I mean, I see them in my feed.”

A warm laugh resonates through his ears. “You’re so cute, Taeyong.”

In a normal day, Taeyong would be flustered by the sudden compliment. But now that he has confirmed Jaehyun has someone back home, he’s feeling a little…sad. He knows it’s weird, they really haven’t had the chance to really get to know each other yet, but there’s nothing wrong with a little crush, isn’t there?

Taeyong shakes off his thoughts and focuses on finding a gift for Jaehyun’s boyfriend. “Do you have anything in mind? Something specific you’d like to give to Johnny?”

“Oh, no. I mean, nothing grand, that is. I spent the whole year treating Johnny to frozen yoghurt so I’m not obliged to give him something well thought of. You know, keychains and stuff like that?”

Taeyong furrows his eyebrows at that. _Is that how relationships work in America?_

But Taeyong imagines Johnny and Jaehyun’s after school dates, eating yoghurts and spending the rest of the afternoon with each other and Taeyong _wants_ that. Push all that material stuff away, he wants to spend time with someone he actually has feelings for.

And maybe, just maybe, he knows who that person is.

 

**December 24, 2012**

Okay, Taeyong is nervous (to be honest, he’s feeling a little queasy). He’s waiting for Jaehyun at the same mall they’ve run into each other for the past two years. The thing is, now, they’ve gotten to know each other pretty well. They’ve been texting each other everyday, exchanging photos whenever there’s an event in their lives, calling one another late at night on weekends (and maybe some weeknights too) (Doyoung, Taeyong’s good friend, has pointed out the growing dark circles underneath his eyes), and very occasionally, they turn on the video feature to see each other (Taeyong has “officially” met the infamous Johnny and their friend Ten through this), and as selfish as Taeyong might sound, he doesn’t like it when Jaehyun video chats him and Johnny’s around.

He knows, he’s aware. Jaehyun is not _his_ (nor anyone’s, but you know what he means). But when you get the chance to talk to Jung Jaehyun every damn day, you will fail to restrain yourself from falling into the bottomless pit (Taeyong’s still falling for him) that is Jung Jaehyun.

He’s hurt, alright. Hell, Taeyong isn’t even ready to see Jaehyun in flesh yet because he thinks he’s going to mess up and _confess_ out of nowhere. But he can’t let this pass, not when he only has one day in a year to see Jaehyun before he leaves for his family’s annual vacation to somewhere else.

He remembers a poll Jaehyun recently made on twitter, asking what would be a nice gift for someone he liked. He listed a watch, a book, and a bracelet in the choices and Taeyong, without thinking twice, clicked the third option.

_@ltyong: add a letter J charm in your bracelet!!_

_@jungjhyun: @ltyong thanks Yong! :P_

His heart fluttered at the thought of Jaehyun making an effort for the person he likes, but fades when he remembers that Jaehyun already _has_ someone he likes and it’s in the form of a six-foot tall man. (Taeyong’s yet to confirm Jaehyun’s words)

_Johnny’s the luckiest man ever._

“Yong!” Taeyong shushes his beating heart by pounding his chest for a few before turning around to meet the eyes of the person he waited for a year to see again. Jaehyun envelops him in an embrace, and the other can feel a blush creeping to his cheeks.

“I missed you!” Wow, Jaehyun’s _taller_ and…well, more well-built. Taeyong tries his best to not ogle at Jaehyun’s body and smiles back at him. But no matter how Jaehyun has changed physically, Taeyong looks at his smile, that same smile he fell for and realizes Jaehyun has not changed at all. He’s still warm, sweet, he’s still Jaehyun, innocent and childlike. Jaehyun, the person he likes.

They walk around aimlessly, just enjoying each other’s presence. Taeyong tries to make it a point not to bring Johnny up but when Jaehyun tells him about Johnny dropping by his house to give him the game he wanted before he left for Korea, Taeyong decides it’s _proper_ to ask how things between Jaehyun and Johnny are.

Jaehyun’s been tweeting quite confusing things about how he misses someone, how sometimes he would feel his heart clenching because of it, how he wishes things were different, and how he wants to see someone so bad. Well, Taeyong isn’t really an expert or anything but anyone could tell Jaehyun’s been having some problems with his “love life” and who else is involved in that other than Johnny and Jaehyun…right?

“Hey Jae, how are you and Johnny?”

Jaehyun stops on his tracks for a little, face etched in confusion. “Huh? Me and Johnny? We’re cool. Why?”

“Well, your tweets. Not to pry or anything but, are you two still together?”

Taeyong sees Jaehyun’s eyes go wide and his mouth hang. Clearly, Taeyong didn’t get something right. “Jae, look, I’m not pressuring you into telling me if you two have a problem but just so you know you can always talk to me and—“

“Yong, we’re not together.”

“—I will try my best to—what?”

The man in front of him chuckles, pinching Taeyong’s cheek lightly. “Johnny’s my best friend. Ten is his boyfriend.”

“Oh.” In Taeyong’s defense, the only time he’s ever seen Johnny and Ten with Jaehyun at the same time was when they went out for a movie, and at that time, Johnny and Ten were in the background while Jaehyun talked to Taeyong— _oh_.

“You thought Johnny and I were a thing? That’s hilarious, Yong.”

He punched Jaehyun’s forearm in protest. “You never really told me!”

“Yeah, because I thought it was obvious!”

“Whatever.” Taeyong didn’t really want to tell Jaehyun that the reason why he assumed his boyfriend was Johnny is because Jaehyun always shared pictures of them in his accounts (yes, they follow each other on Instagram and snapchat now too. they’re even friends on facebook.) Though he couldn’t really browse through Johnny and Ten’s profiles because they’re both in private.

They spent hours and hours together; played bowling, ate too many ice creams, hung out at the same coffee shop they were in last Christmas eve, but around eight, Jaehyun had to leave.

“Hey, uh, Taeyong. I got you a little something.” Jaehyun hands him a small box wrapped messily. _Cute_.

“Thank you, Jaehyun.” Taeyong gives him the sweetest smile he can, trying to stay calm and all but inside? He was _bursting_ with emotions, his head’s over the moon right now because good god, Jaehyun just gave him a gift. Hell, this could even just be a keychain from a gift shop in America and still, Taeyong would consider this the best gift he’s ever received. He tears a portion of the gift wrap when Jaehyun stops him.

“No, wait, can you open it when the clock strikes twelve?” He laughs nervously and puts the box aside. “I’d like it when you’ll open it at Christmas.”

 _Cute. So fucking cute._ Taeyong giggles and now, he’s the one who wraps his arms around Jaehyun. “Thank you, Jae. Merry Christmas.”

They both head home at the same time. Taeyong keeps the box close to him the whole time, and when the clock strikes twelve, he hurriedly opens Jaehyun’s gift.

_“What?”_

Taeyong is in complete shock. No, wait. He feels numb. He couldn’t believe it. Tears in his eyes were already falling. He couldn’t believe it.

Taeyong’s phone buzzes.

“Hey, Yong?”

Taeyong doesn’t reply.

“I know you’ve seen my gift.” Jaehyun laughs from the other line nervously. “It’s straightforward, I know.”

Taeyong picks the bracelet up and wears it.

“Yong?”

Taeyong stares at the letter _J_ attached to his bracelet.

“I like you.”

 

**December 24, 2013**

They’re not together, no. They’re not official. But everyone knows it’s only a matter of time before they do get official. They’ve been flirting around so much they’re starting to upstage Ten and Johnny. It’s hard, though. Taeyong misses Jaehyun to death. Yes, they talk everyday. Yes, they see each other’s faces everyday too. But the longing for Jaehyun’s warmth, for Jaehyun’s arms to wrap Taeyong’s small figure easily, for Jaehyun’s hands to hold his while they tiptoe around each other’s feelings are always there. But Taeyong knows better than to be greedy. Even though they’re not officially together yet, Taeyong’s willing to make things work.

A message chimes in and he knows exactly who it’s from.

_Jae: Hey, I’m not up for another tour around the mall now. Can you head outside?_

Taeyong grabs the two venti-sized drinks from the table (one hot chocolate for Taeyong, one hot overcomplicated mocha for Jaehyun) and rushes out. He sees Jaehyun standing there, tapping away at his phone. A sound is heard from Taeyong’s phone.

“Hi.”

Jaehyun turns around, smile already reaching his eyes. “Hey. You’re here, I just texted you again.”

Taeyong hands Jaehyun’s drink to him, and the latter utters a soft _thanks_ before they start walking to who knows where. All they know is that wherever place they may reach, it won’t really matter, just as long as they’re together.

Taeyong notices Jaehyun’s been rather quiet the whole time, so he’s been rambling, telling Jaehyun about Ruby’s new trick, and about how his mom thought his new friend Yuta was Jaehyun. But to no avail, Taeyong didn’t seem to distract Jaehyun from whatever the latter’s thinking about. All Jaehyun could offer are small smiles and nods to acknowledge he’s listening.

“Okay, Jung, speak up. What’s your problem?” Taeyong halts and pulls Jaehyun’s arm to stop him too. The other just stares at him for a little while, but he doesn’t reply.

Taeyong’s getting impatient, alright. But it dawns on him that he only gets to see Jaehyun once a year, so he breathes in heavily before looking at Jaehyun again and reaches for the latter’s hands. “What’s wrong, Jae?”

Jaehyun tightens his hold on Taeyong’s hand before finally speaking.

“I like you. A lot. You make me happy. I look forward to talking to you everyday even if it means I have to wake up early to talk to you before you sleep or if I have to stay up late because I want to see your face before I sleep. Your laugh, your smile, god Taeyong, your whole existence is a blessing to me. I never thought I’d be feeling this way at the age of eighteen because I’d rather focus on my books and my family on my free time but you, you make me breathe.” A tear escapes Jaehyun’s eye and Taeyong is quick enough to wipe it with his thumb, lingering for a few more after that.

“But it’s hard. It’s so hard. I’m thousands of miles away from you. And I want to change that in a heartbeat but that means I have to sacrifice my whole life just to do that, and believe me, I can and I want to but there are certain things I can’t do just yet. I want to be able to hold you close everyday of my life, to hold your hand whenever I want to, god Taeyong I miss you everyday that it hurts. But despite that, I’m willing to try. I’m willing to do what it takes to make it work because as selfish as I may sound right now, I want you to be mine. I know it’s childish but the thought of you being pursued by others around you when I’m oceans away kills me, and I just—I can’t. So if you’re willing to make this work…” Jaehyun reaches for Taeyong’s face, and Taeyong nuzzles into his touch.

_He doesn’t even need to ask._

“…if you’ll allow me, give me the privilege to be called yours, too, then I’m asking you.”

Jaehyun takes a step closer, their faces barely inches away from each other.

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

Taeyong answers with a kiss.

 

**December 24, 2014**

“Hey, babe—oh? Why the face?” Jaehyun takes Taeyong’s face and squishes it with his two hands, attempting to cheer his boyfriend up. “Come on, let’s fix this frown.”

Taeyong giggles, but no one can fail to recognize that hint of anxiety trailing in his voice, and Jaehyun knows exactly why.

“They’re going to love you, I promise.”

Jaehyun’s parents invited him over for Christmas Eve, they’re having a family dinner and they decided to finally meet Taeyong formally.

They walk to Jaehyun’s car and drive out to the Jung’s. Taeyong fidgets on his seat, still really nervous about tonight.

_What if they won’t like me? Or they already don’t but can’t tell Jaehyun? But I mean, their son’s one of the kindest so I bet they are too right?_

“Hey.” Jaehyun reaches for Taeyong’s hand as he drives, intertwining it with his. He kisses the back of Taeyong’s hand before soothing it with his thumb. “I love you, okay? And I know they’re going to see why I do.”

Taeyong doesn’t say anything, but he appreciates Jaehyun’s small gestures. He smiles quietly and looks out the window, feeling a little calmed down.

They arrive at Jaehyun’s house, hands still clasped with each other. Jaehyun gives Taeyong a small kiss on his forehead and offers a warm smile. “Ready?”

Taeyong nods.

They enter the front door and Jaehyun’s mom greets them. “Honey! Taeyong’s here!”

“Mom, your son is here too.” Jaehyun jokes, but let goes of Taeyong’s hand when his mom reaches for Taeyong.

“I’ve heard so much about you, Taeyong-ah.” Jaehyun’s mom chides in excitedly.

Taeyong blushes at the thought of Jaehyun telling his parents about him. “I hope nothing bad, ma’am.”

“Ma’am? Oh no, call me auntie, please! Well, if you want to call me mom that’s not a problem. It’s only matter of time before Jaehyun here asks for you hand in marriage.”

“Mom!” Taeyong’s cheeks are now in a shade of cherry red, he thinks. Did Jaehyun’s mom really mention marriage now? On their first anniversary?

“Hey, hey! What’s this commotion all about?” A voice interrupts their talk, and Jaehyun’s dad enters the living room, heading straight towards Taeyong. “So you must be Taeyong?” Taeyong nods nervously.

“Well, to let you know, Jaehyun got all straight A’s for this semester because he wanted to come back here for Christmas. We already planned to stay in America for this year’s holidays but Jaehyun here bargained for this.” His dad laughs and pats Jaehyun’s back, who’s now currently avoiding Taeyong’s gaze. “Thank you for being a great inspiration for our Jaehyunnie here, Taeyong-ah.”

He nods. The only thing he could do, if he’s very honest. He’s overwhelmed by the fact that Jaehyun’s parents are so, so welcoming towards him.

And the fact that Jaehyun studied so hard to see him?

Taeyong just fell even deeper for his boyfriend.

“Let’s eat, yeah?” Mrs. Jung leads the four of them to the dining room but Taeyong pulls Jaehyun aside for a little talk before they eat.

He wraps his arms around Jaehyun’s neck and tiptoes to reach his boyfriend’s nose and gives it a small kiss. “Thank you, I’m so lucky to have you, Jae.”

Taeyong feels arms snake around his waist, holding him tight, like he never wants to let go. “For you, anything. I love you, Lee Taeyong. It’s been a year, and I’m looking forward to spending my lifetime with you.”

Taeyong stares at the other’s eyes, and he realizes that he never wants to let this man go, so he reaches for Jaehyun’s cheeks and gives his boyfriend’s lips a kiss.

“Let’s go?”

 

**December 24, 2015**

“Hey babe! Are you home now?” Taeyong excitedly greets his boyfriend on the screen, who’s looking a little distressed. “Oh? You repainted your walls?”

“Yong…” Jaehyun sighs heavily, like he doesn’t know how to tell Taeyong whatever he has in his mind.

“What’s wrong, Jae? I’m coming over right now, wait for me alright?” Taeyong puts his phone down and starts to shove things into his bag when Jaehyun drops the bomb.

“Yong, I’m not in Korea.” Taeyong picks up his phone and plops down his bed, obviously disheartened by the news. “I’m sorry, baby.”

Taeyong’s mind is in shambles. He wants to tell Jaehyun that he understands, that there’s always next year but at the same time, he wants to show his boyfriend that he’s upset. It’s their second year in college, and Taeyong knows they’re both going to be busier, but Jaehyun has been _busier_. Whenever Taeyong called him, Jaehyun would always tell him he’s tired and sleepy, or that he’s busy writing a paper or doing something else for his program. All year long, Taeyong has tried his best to be patient, to be understanding, but now he doesn’t think he can mask his disappointment over this issue, not when they’ve been talking about Jaehyun’s return for _weeks_ now.

“Jaehyun, I-we—this is the only thing we’ve ever talked about for the past few weeks. Why couldn’t you tell me before?” He notices his voice raise a little, but no, Taeyong’s going to step his foot down. He’s upset, and he doesn’t think he can afford to talk to Jaehyun for the time being.

“I’m sorry, babe. I’m really sorry. My professor just sent us another paper due on the 28th and I just can’t afford to have any distraction right now, I need to do well on this paper.”

 _Did he just call me a distraction?_ Taeyong’s mind finally _erupts_ , and he glares at Jaehyun, who’s a little taken aback by the former’s face right now.

“Well, I should end this call now, wouldn’t want to continue to be a distraction to you, would I?” He snaps at the other, hands shaking as he reaches for the button to disconnect.

“Yong, wait—“ Taeyong doesn’t wait for an explanation, he doesn’t _want_ nor does he _need_ any from Jaehyun. He’s too emotional, to be honest, to take in any more of what Jaehyun’s going to say.

His phone rings immediately, but he ignores it until the ringing stops, only for it to ring again.

He quickly turns his phone off and storms out of the room and yells for his mom. “I’m going for a walk, ma!”

His mother pops out from the kitchen. “There’s a snowstorm coming, Taeyong-ah. Can’t you go visit Jaehyun tomorrow?”

“He’s not here. He’s still in America, mom. I need to clear my head for a bit. I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

His mom’s a little hesitant but lets him go anyway. Taeyong roams around his neighborhood for what seems like hours, and only decides to go home when the wind starts to blow stronger and snow began to fall more and more.

“Fuck.” Taeyong struggles to walk home, the wind blowing against him forcefully, but to his relief, he’s only a few steps away from home.

He’s freezing when he enters, and his mom is frantic when he sees his son’s teeth chattering from the cold. “I told you to go back early! Look at you!” She helps him remove his jacket and wraps Taeyong in layers of blankets, she leaves for the kitchen and returns to Taeyong in a flash, a cup of tea on her hand.

“Jaehyunnie’s on the line, he’s been worried sick, says you haven’t been answering his calls. I think he almost fainted when he found out you went for a walk when there’s a snowstorm alert.” Taeyong doesn’t say anything, but when his mom hands him their house phone, he turns away.

“I don’t want to talk to him, ma.”

“Stop being a brat, Lee Taeyong. Go fix whatever issue you two are having. It’s your second anniversary for heaven’s sake.” He pouts, getting scolded by his mom for ignoring his boyfriend isn’t exactly in his bucketlist. She walks away, but doesn’t leave Taeyong’s sight to make sure his son answers the call. Taeyong sighs, a little scared by his mother’s threatening look.

He tightens his hold on the telephone, and sighs for what seems like the nth time before finally answering. “Hello?”

“Yong!” Jaehyun half-shouts, sounding a little relieved albeit a little scared, too. “Yong, I’m so glad you’re okay, I was so worried—“

“Glad to know you get worried for your distractions, huh?” He snaps at him again, but Taeyong feels a little guilty now for doing so. He regrets talking to Jaehyun like that but what can he do? He wants his message to come across and reach his boyfriend’s system because he’s really hurt. It’s a childish thing, what he’s doing, but Taeyong thinks he has the right to act like this at times.

“Yong, you know that’s not what I meant.” He hears Jaehyun breathe in heavily at the other line. “You’re not a distraction, please. You know you’re more than that, right?”

“Then tell me, why have I been feeling that way for the whole year? Jaehyun, this isn’t the first time. Whenever I call you, you sound tired, like you don’t want to waste any more time on me. I know, you’re busy, you’re tired, and I understand that, but can’t I have at least ten minutes of your day, Jae? I need you, too. It’s hard enough that I don’t get to see you, I don’t get to hold you, and now I don’t get to talk to you properly? It’s hard, Jae. I miss you, so bad.” He doesn’t know when he started crying, but now he can’t stop, he can’t calm himself down but it felt _good_ to tell Jaehyun what he’s been feeling for the past months. To finally breathe in freely because he thinks a whole weight has been lifted off from his chest.

Taeyong hears Jaehyun sniff. _Oh, god. No._

It’s his weakness. Yeah, Taeyong found out that Jaehyun crying is his number one weakness when his boyfriend called him late at night, breaking down on the screen because he felt so tired of everything, and Taeyong absolutely cried at the sight of the man he loves, in pain, crying.

“Jae…” _No, Taeyong, no._ “Look, I’m sorry, for being selfish.” _Taeyong, no._ “…for being a brat. Please don’t cry? Babe, I’m really sorry.” _Goddamnit, Lee Taeyong._

“I’m sorry, Taeyong. I’ll be better, I promise. Please don’t leave me, please.” _No, no, no._

“No, I won’t, Jae what are you talking about?”

“I’m sorry.” Jaehyun apologizes again and again, tone pleading for Taeyong. “I’ll be better, okay? Don’t leave me.”

Taeyong shrugs the sheets away and runs to his room, fumbling with his laptop. He ends the call on the telephone and immediately requests for a video chat with Jaehyun. In a matter of seconds, Taeyong’s screen is filled with Jaehyun’s presence, his boyfriend’s hands covering his entire face.

“I’m sorry, baby. Please don’t leave me.”

“I won’t.” Taeyong says firmly. He feels bad, guilty even. He should have been more understanding, but he knew he did the right thing because he needed to tell Jaehyun how he felt about their whole situation. “Jae, I love you, so much. Remember that, okay? I’m a little mad, yes, but that doesn’t mean I’ll leave you. God, I can’t even imagine myself breaking up with you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, Taeyong.”

“Promise me we’ll both be better from now on? No more shutting each other out, okay?”

Jaehyun nods from the other side. “I miss you, Yong. So much.”

“I miss you, too. I love you, Jung Jaehyun.”

“I love you, Lee Taeyong.”

 

**December 24, 2016**

“Hey babe!” Jaehyun greets from Taeyong’s screen. “Happy third anniversary.”

Taeyong smiles in return and blows Jaehyun a kiss. “Happy third, baby. I miss you.”

“I do, too. Have you got my gift?”

Taeyong raises a medium-sized box and shows it to Jaehyun. “Here! And yes, I’ll open it at midnight, I promise. No peeking. By the way, are you ready for your youth conference on the 26th?”

“I’m a little nervous, but I can do this. I think. I mean, there’s a whole lot of important people attending and I—I can’t afford to mess this up. If I fail this thing, if I don’t do well, who knows where they’ll find me interning next year.”

“Hey, hey. You got this, Jaehyun. You’ve prepared for this a lot and you’ve worked your ass off to pull this well, I know you’ll do well, I promise you. I believe in you, alright?”

“I wish you were here.” His boyfriend smiles sadly, and Taeyong offers him a comforting one in return.

“I wish I was, too. Two years more, yeah? I’ll kiss the living lights out of you then.”

Taeyong hears his favorite laugh. “I knew it, you’re only dating me ‘cause I’m the best kisser in the world.”

 

Later that night, as soon as Taeyong’s alarm for twelve midnight went off, he tears off the tape from the package Jaehyun sent and finds a stuffed golden retriever. He laughs, remembering how Jaehyun acted jealous of Ruby last month because Taeyong was playing with his Pomeranian more than he talked to his needy boyfriend. Taeyong laughed at him, commenting how Jaehyun looks like a dog, too. A Golden Retriever at that.

He hugs the toy tightly and feels something small and cold against his skin. He lets go of the stuffed dog and finds a silver necklace tied to its neck. There’s a letter J attached to it again.

Taeyong doesn’t think twice; he wears it right away and calls Jaehyun, but the latter doesn’t answer.

“Guess he’s still sleeping.”

He sends him a message instead.

_Saw your gift! A dog, really?  It’s really cute though, he looks like you :P  I love you, Jae! Thank you for always making me happy. I love you. See you in 725 days._

_P.S. I loved the necklace. Another addition to my J collection._

**December 24, 2017**

“You know, I can’t wait to stay at your apartment next year for my trip.” Jaehyun grins and pulls something from beneath him. “Tada! I framed a picture of me so you could hang it on your wall. I’ll frame some more of me and of us when I get there.”

“As if I’d let you hang your face in here.” Taeyong retorts, but his voice is a little off, and that doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaehyun.

“You really need some sleep, Yong. You’re so tired.”

“But I haven’t seen you in days, I just want to see your face for a little while more.”

The other frowns but doesn’t argue with what Taeyong wants. “Alright, I know you miss me a lot. But can you talk to me while you’re laying down? So you can rest your body still.”

Taeyong obliges and walks to his bed, placing his laptop beside his pillows and plops down, body in sideview to have a better view of Jaehyun.

“You want me to sing you a song?”

 _Oh god, yes._ Taeyong wants to scream, but his body refuses to jump in excitement. So he nods in reply, and Jaehyun smiles, knowing his plan’s working.

_“Do you hear me,_

_I'm talking to you_

_Across the water across the deep blue ocean_

_Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying”_

Taeyong nods along for a little while, appreciating his boyfriend’s beautiful voice serenading him from thousands of miles away.

_“Boy I hear you in my dreams_

_I feel your whisper across the sea_

_I keep you with me in my heart_

_You make it easier when life gets hard”_

He feels a little light headed as Jaehyun’s voice continue to soothe him. He feels his eyes getting a little heavy.

_“They don't know how long it takes_

_Waiting for a love like this_

_Every time we say goodbye_

_I wish we had one more kiss_

_I'll wait for you I promise you, I will”_

Taeyong tries his best to fight off the feeling, he wants to talk to Jaehyun for a little while more, see Jaehyun a little more. He misses Jaehyun so much.

_“I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where I have been_

_Lucky to be coming home again”_

But he fails, In a few seconds, Taeyong’s already knocked out, and Jaehyun smiles at the sight, but he sings a few more lines to make sure Taeyong stays asleep. He knows Taeyong’s been loaded with his thesis for the past few weeks and his boyfriend needs all the sleep he can get.

_“I'm lucky we're in love in every way_

_Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed_

_Lucky to be coming home someday”_

Jaehyun ends the song and stares at his sleeping boyfriend for a few seconds before deciding to end the call. But not before whispering words he knows his boyfriend won’t hear.

“I’ll see you soon, Yong. I love you, so much. I’m coming home to you soon.”

 

**December 23, 2018**

It’s five in the afternoon, which means Jaehyun’s plane has already left Connecticut. Taeyong’s giddy, excited, his feelings are all over the place. He’s finally going to see Jaehyun, he’s finally going to be wrapped in his boyfriend’s arms, and now, Jaehyun’s going to stay for two whole weeks in Korea, and the best thing about it? He’s staying over at Taeyong’s apartment. Taeyong has already decorated the place with a medium-sized tree and hung some lights and trinkets around it. He’s also prepared his gift for Jaehyun, it’s sitting by the tree beside the gifts he received from his mom and sister, they know better than to disturb Taeyong when Jaehyun’s around, so they dropped by a few days ago to bring Taeyong his gifts (along with some for Jaehyun too, since he’s family now and all).

Tomorrow, at ten in the morning in Korea, Jaehyun will be arriving at the airport. Jaehyun’s mom will be fetching him and his dad from there, so Taeyong’s calculated that around one in the afternoon, his dear boyfriend will be knocking on his front door.

Taeyong can already imagine how he’ll be greeting Jaehyun. He’ll jump on him and shower his face with kisses, wrap his arms tightly around Jaehyun like a monkey, and make him carry Taeyong inside, where Taeyong will cuddle him like there’s no tomorrow. It’s perfect, Taeyong thinks. He’ll be spending two weeks with the man he’s been longing to see, to hold, to be with.

Around nine in the evening, Taeyong decides to prepare the ingredients for the meal he’s going to cook for Jaehyun tomorrow. He turns the television on to keep him entertained. A music show’s playing, and Taeyong dances along subtly to the songs as he continues to busy himself with what he’s doing.

He’s almost done when a breaking-news flashes across the screen. Taeyong’s a little taken aback, since it’s not normal for channels to interrupt programs for a news. _It must be something big, then._

But when Taeyong watches what’s being reported, he feels his soul leave his body.

_A plane from Connecticut has crashed in the middle of the Northern part of the Atlantic Ocean. The flight is supposed to head for Incheon, South Korea and has left the airport around three in the morning. Details of the passengers are to be followed once confirmed by the airline. The British and American Navy are now heading to the supposed location to search for any survivors._

It all happened so fast. Taeyong collapsed, barely conscious. His mind is in complete black. He feels numb, like the life in him has been sucked out. He feels dead inside, really, but he’s aware that he’s still alive, that for some unfortunate reason, he’s here, kneeling in the middle of his apartment, while he’s 95% sure his boyfriend, the love of his life, his best friend, his Jung Jaehyun, is out there lost in the middle of the fucking ocean, struggling for life.

Taeyong breaks down. He shuts the television off, not wanting to hear any more of what has happened, grabs his keys and heads out. Taeyong drives out, tears blurring his view but he couldn’t care less. He’s heading to Jaehyun’s place, he knows Jaehyun’s mom has heard of what happened and he wants to be there for her, it’s the least thing he could do for Jaehyun.

It takes him more time than usual to get there, but Taeyong made sure even if he’s vulnerable, even if he’s very close to breaking down, he needs to get to Jaehyun’s place. He needs to find Jaehyun’s mom.

He knocks loudly. He screams for her name, but no one answers. Taeyong tries again and again, he even checks if any of the doors are unlocked but they’re all shut tight. He calls out for her, again and again and again, but she’s doesn’t answer. He calls her number but the line goes straight to voicemail.

And right then and there, Taeyong falls again for the second time tonight.

“Jaehyun, Jaehyun.” He cries out for his name, desperate, hurting. “Jaehyun, I’m sorry.”

“Baby, please don’t leave me. Please, I’ll wait for you, just please, come back to me.”

He stays there, for what seems like hours until Taeyong decides he needs to come back home because people might call the police on him for staying outside their neighbor’s porch for a long time now. He struggles, he chokes on his own tears as he drove through the streets, thinking of how he imagined Jaehyun and him driving through the same place late at night just because they like to wander aimlessly.

“Jaehyun, don’t leave me, Please.” He whispers, even if he knew no one would hear him.

He arrives home, broken, empty, _lifeless_. He doesn’t head for his bed, because it’s not the same now, not when he’s prepared the sheets just the way Jaehyun likes it. Everything’s prepared for Jaehyun’s arrival, and the only important one in the list left is the one never coming back to see all of these.

Taeyong holds the charm on his necklace tightly, and for the first time ever since he could remember, Taeyong prays to whoever might be listening.

“I’m not the most religious person out there, hell I’ve done nothing to wish for anything from whoever’s out there, and I don’t even believe in you, but if you’re out there…” He holds his breath, trying to calm himself from crying. He’s a complete mess, he’s aware, but he wants to at least make this right, for Jaehyun.

“,..bring him back to me, please. I still have to hold him close, to kiss the soul out of him, to spend the rest of my life with him. Please…I—I still have to let him know how much I love him.”

 

**December 24, 2018**

 

Taeyong wakes up, still in the corner of his room. He realizes what time it is, so he rushes outside. He’s heading to the airport right now; he needs to find out any firsthand information about Jaehyun, and he’ll call auntie along the way, see if she can be reached now. He doesn’t even bother to shower or fix his hair, he just needs to find out if his Jaehyun’s alright, and if he can do anything to save him.

When Taeyong opens his front door, he’s ready to dash to his car and rev up the engine to drive as fast as he can. He needs to be there for Jaehyun.

But what he doesn’t expect is for Jaehyun to be standing outside of his front door, fixing a ribbon that’s wrapped around his head, looking like a gift.

“Babe!” Jaehyun grins, but immediately frowns when he sees Taeyong’s face. “Hey, babe, what’s wrong?”

Taeyong can’t move, at all. He’s stuck. He wants to say something, but he feels as if he can’t and he’s unable to. Jaehyun holds him in place because Taeyong looks like he’s about to faint.

“W-why…H-how?”

“I got an early flight! Dad couldn’t make it back here, so mom surprised him a few days ago, and mom made a new friend in the airline, you know how she is. She hooked me up with an offer of an earlier flight and I immediately took it, you know. I wanted to surprise you and…I guess you are?” Jaehyun cups Taeyong’s face with his two hands, and Taeyong finally breaks because of that.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I—the news, there was a plane crash and it was your supposed flight and—I thought, I thought—“

“Shh, baby, I’m here, okay? I’m here. I’m alive, and I’m safe. I’m back in your arms, you’re back in mine. It’s all good, right?” Jaehyun holds Taeyong tightly, calming his boyfriend down. He kisses the top of Taeyong’s head. “I’m here.”

“I thought I lost you, Jae. I can’t—I can’t ever lose you.” Taeyong mumbles against Jaehyun’s tear-soaked clothes and tightens his embrace around Jaehyun. “Don’t leave me, I can’t lose you.”

“I won’t, and I’m not leaving you anymore, see?” Jaehyun lets go of Taeyong for a little while and points to whatever’s behind him. Taeyong sees three huge luggage with a ribbon on them, looking like his boyfriend made it his gift for him, and looks up to Jaehyun, who’s grinning at him with the sweetest smile he’s ever made.

“Surprise! I got offered a job here in Seoul, and I’m staying here for good, see? Although I do have to search for my own apartment, I don’t really want to live with my mom anymore. You don’t mind me staying here for a few weeks, right? Until I find my own place?”

Now, Taeyong’s not the most religious person out there, but he refuses to believe that everything that’s happening right now in front of his eyes is not a miracle. He mumbles a soft _thank you_ to whoever’s out there looking out for him before jumping on Jaehyun and wrapping himself around his boyfriend, who’s laughing hard right now. “Easy there, kitten.”

“You idiot, what makes you think I won’t let you stay here for good?” He tells Jaehyun before resting his face on the latter’s neck. “That’s if you want to.”

He feels Jaehyun hold him closer as he’s carried around like a merry-go-round. Jaehyun puts him down and kisses his nose, smiling at Taeyong who’s still in tears.

“Are you asking me to move in with you, Lee Taeyong?”

Taeyong hides his face on Jaehyun’s chest, but he nods slowly, not wanting to part from Jaehyun.

“I love you, Yong. Fifth year with you and I still fall for you more and more each day.”

He doesn’t reply though, but he stays in Jaehyun’s warmth, basking in his presence. Always thankful for his existence.

“Hey, Yong, you put that mistletoe on your front door on purpose?” Taeyong looks up to see a mistletoe hanging above them. _Ah, of course, he saw it right away._

“Maybe.” He grins playfully, but Jaehyun wastes no time as he crashes his lips onto Taeyong’s, making him feel how much he has missed him, how much he loves him so much, and how much he’s happy that finally, _finally_ , they’re going to be together.

“I love you, Taeyong. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Jae. Thank you for being the best gift in my life. I love you, too.”

 

 

 


End file.
